I’m So Scared of Making a Mistake.

Background 

A man in his forties, married with five children, has been a teacher since he's 22; after twenty years of teaching, and he'd like very much to make a change, but he's scared of making a mistake.

He's very smart and his fear is understandable. He has a wife and children and stability, but he doesn't want to live his life from a place of fear.

So he wants to be able to make a decision whether or not to change jobs. He wants to make a decision that's good for him and his family, but he’s paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong move

When I asked him how he felt about the prospect of changing jobs, he replied, "I feel a lot of fear.”

I guided him into a state of deep relaxation, helping him access his subconscious. With his eyes closed, I asked him to recall a story—a memory of the first time he felt this fear of making a mistake.

He shares that the memory that comes to him is that he's in sixth grade and there's a test in Mishnah. He has to memorize the Mishnah.  And in the end, he did not memorize the Mishnah. He did not pass the test.

It turns out that even though he was very intelligent, this was very hard for him and his parents were  very busy with work, the other kids; there was really no one to help him prepare for this.

We use the technique of time travel. I asked him, the father of today - who loves his children and takes care of them- to go back in time and spend time with this boy in sixth grade.

He did it, I invited him to show up in his life a week before the Mishnah test. I asked him to introduce himself to the boy, maybe play a game together, maybe go for a walk together, maybe have an ice cream together.

If the boy wants to know why he came back in time, he should explain to help you prepare for this test. And in his imagination, that's what he does. They spend as much time as needed on a daily basis, helping him prepare for the test.

Then I asked him, "What happened this time?"

He replied, "This time, I learned the Mishnah by heart and passed the test."

I continued, "What does it feel like for that young boy to have someone helping him?"

"It feels amazing," he said. "Empowering."

I asked him, "Is there still any fear of making a mistake?"

"No," he answered. "There’s no fear at all.”

 I invite him to spend time with that young boy, helping him as much as he needs to, empowering him. Because in life, there's things that we can't do, there's what we can do,  and then there's what we can do if we have a little help.

Finally, I guided him back to the present, where he now faces the decision about his career. This time, he carried with him the knowledge that he doesn’t have to navigate it alone. He could ask for help when needed.

I asked, "What do you see yourself doing now?"

He said, "Now, I ask for help. I might talk to friends or find a service that can support me."

And what of his fear?

"The fear is gone," he said. "I know I don’t have to do it all by myself. I can ask for help.”